Finished the Rock 'N Roll Marathon!

I did it! I finished the Rock 'N Roll Marathon on June 3. My time was 5:24:50. Not bad for an away marathon! I started a newsletter that will go out to all who donated to me. If you want a full copy, let me know. Here's the section about my Marathon Journey and the things I thought about along the way. Enjoy!

June 3, 2007
Race Day! I’m still surprised that it’s already here! 5 am we are lining up in the pre-dawn getting ready to start this Grand Adventure, some of us for the first time! The clock starts at 6 am, the crowd screams, and we are off!
For the first mile I think about anticipation. The build up before the event. The panic/adrenalin rush feeling that accompanies waiting. I wonder what anticipation my ribbon buddies felt in the doctor’s office when they heard the diagnosis, before the first round of treatment, each morning before they awoke. . .
Hand in hand with anticipation must come fear, just like mile 2 follows mile one. I have not been able to imagine the fear of hearing the words, “You have Cancer.” Like everyone else, I have faced my own mountains, and over the past three years I’ve learned to face those fears and decide that I WILL NOT GIVE IN. Fear for the future can debilitate you, but it doesn’t need to. Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
I have a confession to make. I hate running; at least until mile 3. But when the running is hard I hear Michael’s voice in my head telling me his reason for wanting to run. It’s been over ten years, but I vividly remember the night Michael (my best friend who passed away from Leukemia in 1999) told me he wanted to jump off the balcony we were on and run. He wanted to run until all the hurt, pain, anger, frustration and failure had been burned out of him. And when it was all gone, he could stop, turn around, and come home to be filled up with the good. Kristin Richard (used to
be Armstrong) talked about how running her marathon after divorcing Lance accomplished the same thing that Michael craved. Running these last three years has lightened my load tremendously, and that’s why today I am strong enough to take on my ribbon buddies and carry them with me. They may not be able to run for themselves today, but I can; I will.
Mile 4 flew by, so here’s a thought on happiness from William Butler Yeats: “Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simple growth. We are happy when we are growing.”
A teammate, Melanie, and I were talking about parenting around mile 5. I told her how I feel like a better mother since TNT because through my running I’m teaching my girls about exercise, healthy eating, charity, budgeting, wants vs. needs, endurance, will-power, personal time, and creative problem solving! Who knew running would do more then just help me get fit?
At mile 6 we were still talking about how TNT has made us better people. Meeting other people who are passionate about helping others and about living life has been refreshing. Also seeing survivors who are out here training with us gives me hope. I’ve learned so much for each person on all four teams I’ve been with, and some of the “lifers” are my best friends. A Buddhist proverb states, “My parents gave me life. My comrades raised me.” So true.
Just an observation here at mile 7. My running partner pulled off and I kept going. I need someone to talk to, and everyone has their headphones in! There are live bands, over 21,000 people, and headphones! We live in a society of disconnect. Pull the plug and meet someone!
Around mile 8 I was talking to a new friend I met on the course. I’m not sure how the topic came up, but we were talking about adversity and how it changes you. My grandma once told me that all people are like a potato, a carrot, or an egg. Once they are put under pressure (boiling water) it changes them. Potatoes become soft and fall apart at a touch. Carrots become tender, but remain firm. Eggs become hardened. It’s all in the perspective and what you do with it!
I’m missing my kids and wishing they would suddenly show up in the crowd right not at mile 9. Then I see Coach Waddee and John (family of teammates) who scream and yell for me. Tears come to my eyes. They aren’t my kids, but they are part of my family.
Here at mile 10 there are crazy male TNT staffers out here dressed as women runners — they make me laugh! And that reminds me that laughter is inner jogging.
“Stay Sexy, Jana” one guy said at the water station just after mile 11. It was the boost I needed. Thank heavens for modern angels!
Mile 12 just hurt. Sometimeslife, like a marathon, just is what it is.
I think that a half marathon (13.1 miles) is the perfect length! There was a guy I used to work with who would always reply that he was perfect when asked how he was doing because being perfect is the state of “bringing to final form.”

A little past half way at mile 14, and I’m beginning to feel it! Time to find someone new to talk with and keep on moving! According to Benjamin Franklin, there are three types of people: “those that are immovable, those that are movable , and those that move.” Hang on! I’m in the class that MOVES!
I run past John and Coach Waddee again around mile 15, and I remember how yesterday morning my kids decided who on the team got to be whose “buddy”. My teammates are my kids heroes, and I am thankful they are such worthy ones.
Mile 16 and I’m feeling drained. Mother Teresa said, “Love, to be real, must cost—it must hurt—it must empty us of self.” Marathoning with TNT is love.
By mile 17 I’ve had more then a few people ask about the TNT and what we do. I’ve been able to talk about how running with TNT is such a wonderful opportunity and how great it is that I get to be a part of curing cancer! Reminds me of a quote I saw in one of my log books: “People are not excellent because they do great things; they achieve great things because they choose to be excellent.”
I decided to think about enjoying life at mile 18. This thought came to mind, “I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. He gave me life that I might enjoy all things.”
Up to mile 19 I have been at my target time. But I’m losing it, and I’m okay with it. Baron Pierre de Coubertin said, “the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.”
Only six more miles to go here at mile 20, and I’ve decided to think about beauty. The age-old saying about beauty being in the eye of the beholder comes to mind. Looking around I see a bunch of tired, sweaty, hurting people, and the beauty of being a member of TNT strikes me. We started as strangers who were touched somehow in life by a blood cancer. With the memory of that touch we have worked to get here today with the hope that later on someone else will not have that experience.
It’s mile 21 and I’m starting to hurt when I spot a shirt that has the word COURAGE then the dictionary definition and the second definition reads, “Melody fighting Leukemia.” Tears well up and I have to chase the wearer down to hear his story.
Mile 22 was a HUGE milestone for me in my first marathon. It was here that I realized I had almost made it to the finish line, had finished fundraising, and was so much closer to calling myself a Mathoner! Strength is the attribute I tend to think about here each marathon. REAL strength manifests itself through the little things in life like standing up for what you believe in or doing something you never thought was possible.
Around mile 23, I was talking to Robb (the COURAGE guy) about getting to the finish line. I explained that for me running marathons is so much more emotional and mental then it is physical. Even though I run with a team and am constantly talking to other people, my running time is a chance I have to be alone to conquer my demons and come to terms with my angels. After the race I stumbled across this quote from Buddha and fell in love with it: “It is better to conquer yourself then to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. I t cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.” Crossing marathon finish lines is something that nobody can take away from me. I think about my cancer friends who had to face Chemotherapy, Radiation, PET scans, and Doctor appointments. They may have had friends and family with them, but they had to do it alone. I hope they celebrated each treatment as small, personal victory.
Here’s a short though on endurance by Edmund Burke for mile 24: “Patience will achieve more then force.”
By mile 25 I’m doubting my sanity. My feet are tired, I have a blister, I’m pretty sure I have a few more black nails, my legs are tight, and I’m having a BLAST!!! I would do it again (hence the reason it’s my third marathon). I’m reminded of the quote from George Carlin who said, “Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.” There has been a lot of music today, but I think the tune I’ve heard the strongest is the song of my own heart. The melody is pure and strong, and a beautiful thing to hear pounding through my veins. A toast to being considered insane!
Coming into the finish line at 26.2 miles, I’m again overwhelmed with a powerfully strong emotion. It’s a bit of pride, a bit of knowing I can do it, realizing again how strong (physically and emotionally) I’ve become, relief at finishing strong, and knowing I’ve helped make a difference in my life and the life of families and people who are battling cancer. I guess the best word to describe what I’m feeling would be accomplishment.


Thanks for all of you who helped to make this happen for me!